Many of us have experienced having an immense crush on someone; some of us choose to shy away, but some us are brave enough to make the first move. Crushes are such a dangerous thing, that puts us at high risk of being rejected or of falling deeply in love with someone. Can we ever be prepared to be rejected or even worse friendzoned ? Most of us have experienced the act of being friendzoned and we can all agree that it hurts like a bitch. In my 4 years of high school, I had a crush only one guy and well after a few years of knowing each other, we decided to give us a chance. Boy do I regret that…. Sometimes I wish I had never met him just to avoid getting hurt. I clearly remember the amount of anxiety I would feel when I waited for him to message me back. At times, I would even leave my phone in another room just to avoid any form of temptation. I also remember the day I lost him. It was a regular day, I was walking to my first period, honors math, when I saw him and a girl making out in front of my classroom door. I remember standing there in utter disbelief, I froze afraid to move or even breathe; I considered turning around and walking back out of school, or walking past them with my head held high. I of course choose the second option. I gathered all the courage and dignity that I could manage and walked straight to the door and with a shaky hand, I pulled the door open and walked in. I could feel my cheeks burning, and the eyes of my classmates on me as if they knew why my face was a bright crimson red. Was this always part of the plan ? Did he plan to embarrass me that way since the beginning ? Words can’t even describe the amount of anxiety I felt as I waited for him to enter; a part of me wanted him to walk in classroom and apologize to me, but the other wanted him to leave and never come back. When he didn’t walk in before the bell rung, I knew I had just lost him……..
A few days ago, during a sleepless night, I decided to download an app that would allow me to message people with the idea of it being anonymous and of course as any other app it wasn’t the best idea. It’s almost as if men feed off those apps, it’s their opportunity to allow their sick dreams and creep personalities to be set free. Why can’t we ever just talk anymore? Can we actual have a one on one conversation that doesn’t involve the words “nudes” and “sex”? Have we really reached rock bottom that love isn’t a possibility anymore? I also blame myself for downloading the app but at the time it seemed as a fun pastime but it was also a realization of what continues to happen. I know women aren’t angels, I mean who is? I think it’s time we all take a break from our phones and actually communicate with the other sex in person. Because trust me, no anonymity is worth the endless plead for a butt picture..
Chores… the word everyone hates to hear but knows need to be done. Have you ever entered someone’s home and as soon as you did, extremely, regretted it? It’s become alarming the lack of chores people do now in days; they’ve allowed their house to reach the point of no return. The floor so dusty that it almost leaves a foot print behind, the dishes stacked in the sink with no chance of being washed, and the restrooms… so gross that it almost appears to be a portable potty in a construction site. I know chores isn’t the most popular topic to talk about, trust me I hate them as well, but I also acknowledge the fact that it’s a necessary task to do almost everyday. I’ve spent the entire day washing my clothes, washing the dishes, and cleaning my cat’s litter but in the end I know it’s all going to be worth it when I leave at 5:00pm to hang out with my friends. My friends…. thats a topic for another day. The amount of satisfaction, when I leave my house knowing that when I come back everything will be clean; which trust me makes up for the all the cat litter that made its way into my sandals.
This blog is going to be all over the place, of course now I have no readers and who knows when I will have some. For starters, I’ve decided to create a blog in order to better “express” myself rather than just posting an Instagram pictures with a limited amount of characters. I don’t want to waste my time worrying about who follows me, who doesn’t, how many likes I get on my pictures, because does that even matter? In the end we all know we post picture to show off how cool and extravagant we are, we don’t really care what our “friends” are doing, we just care if they liked our pictures or not. Social media is just a platform that allows us to show off and be a person we really aren’t. I guess that is why I’ve decided to start this blog, so welcome to a blog without filter.